The Day I Nearly Cried Over a Tomato: My Breaking Point With Dieting
- Feb 12
- 6 min read
I remember the moment I realized I had to break up with dieting.
It wasn’t some grand epiphany. It wasn’t after another failed attempt at cutting carbs or punishing myself with extra workouts to "earn" my food. It was over lunch with my colleagues from the Royal College of Surgeons, back when I had a "real job" - LOL. I was working as a postdoctoral research engineer, designing bone scaffolds (fancy, I know), and we were out for lunch in St. Stephen’s Green.
At the time, I was deep in another diet experiment - probably trying to go keto - and I ordered a salad. When it arrived, there were tomatoes in it. Imagine that - tomatoes! God forbid, too much sugar, right? My eyes filled with tears, and I had to fight hard not to cry in front of my peers. Over tomatoes.
That’s when it hit me. This isn’t freedom. This is a prison.
For years, I followed all the rules. Ate the "good" foods. Avoided the "bad" foods. Weight Watchers. Calorie counting. Obsessively tracking everything I ate. Stepping on the scales every morning like my entire self-worth depended on it. Beating myself up for the tiniest slip-up, convinced that if I could just find the right diet, if I could just try a little harder, I’d finally crack the code.
But the code was rigged from the start. No matter what I did, it was never enough.
And the worst part? Even when I did "get it right," when I looked leaner or hit a number I thought would make me happy - it didn’t. Because what was the point of looking good on the outside if I felt like absolute crap on the inside?
I’d done it all - Weight Watchers, calorie counting, macro tracking, paleo, keto, punishing workouts - constantly chasing an impossible standard that I thought would bring happiness. Instead, it made me miserable. The more extreme the diet, the harder the rebound. The stricter the rules, the more out of control I felt when I inevitably broke them. I kept thinking I needed more discipline, but what I really needed was a completely different approach.
It wasn’t until I hit breaking point that I finally stopped and thought: This isn’t working. There has to be another way. And thank God, there was.
Step 1: I Ditched the "All or Nothing" Thinking
One of the biggest lies diet culture sells us is that we have to be perfect. Either we’re eating clean, tracking every macro, and smashing workouts, or we’re completely off the rails, drowning in pizza and chocolate.
But life doesn’t work like that. Balance isn’t the average of two extremes - it’s reigning in the extremes in the first place.
I started by allowing myself to eat the foods I once feared - without punishment. One biscuit didn’t mean I had to eat the whole pack. A missed workout didn’t mean I had to give up altogether.
Step 2: I Stopped Labeling Foods as "Good" or "Bad"
The moment I stopped seeing food as "good" or "bad," everything changed.
Think about it - if eating a certain food makes you feel like a failure, what happens next? You feel guilty. You spiral. You think, "Well, I’ve already messed up, so I might as well keep going." And before you know it, you’re promising to "start fresh" on Monday.
Food isn’t moral. It doesn’t make you a better or worse person. A slice of cake doesn’t undo your progress any more than a salad makes you a saint. Food is just food. Some nourish your body. Some nourish your soul. Both have a place.
Step 3: I Learned to Listen to My Body
Dieting teaches us to ignore our own hunger and fullness cues. We eat when an app tells us to. We stop when we hit our calorie limit - not when we’re actually full or satisfied. We fight against cravings instead of understanding them.
Relearning how to listen to my body was a game-changer. Instead of letting external rules dictate my food choices, I started asking myself simple questions:
Am I actually hungry, or am I just bored or emotional?
Will this food satisfy me, or am I just eating it because I feel like I "should"?
How does this food make me feel after I eat it?
Tuning into my body’s signals instead of fighting them helped me build trust with myself again.
Step 4: I Gave Myself Permission to Enjoy Food
At first, the idea of eating whatever I wanted was terrifying. I thought if I gave myself permission to eat freely, I’d never stop. But the exact opposite happened.
A wise woman once said, “When you know you can eat anything, you no longer feel the need to eat everything.” And that’s exactly what happened. The restriction was what made me feel out of control in the first place.
When I allowed myself to eat the foods I loved without guilt, they lost their power over me. I could have chocolate in the house without feeling like I needed to eat it all in one go. I could enjoy a meal out without stressing over calories.
And for the first time in years, I actually enjoyed food again.
More importantly, I started to appreciate what food is really about - connection. Food brings friends and families together. Some of the best moments in life happen around the dinner table, over a shared meal, not in the isolation of a diet plan.
Step 5: I Focused on Habits, Not Rules
Instead of trying to follow a diet, I started focusing on habits that made me feel good, ones that injected an element of positivity into my life - not ones that punished me for being human.
Eating protein because it kept me full, not because I had to hit a target.
Moving my body in ways I enjoyed, not because I needed to "burn off" food.
Drinking water because it made me feel better, not because some diet plan told me to.
Small shifts like these added up. And the best part? They were sustainable.
My Final Thoughts
To start living my life, I had to stop. And let go.
I let go of restrictive dieting.
I let go of false beliefs surrounding nutrition.
I let go of the pursuit of perfection.
I let go of punishing myself with exercise.
I let go of being a dick to myself.
And what I gained in return was something I never thought possible - peace with food. It was life-changing.
Breaking free from diet rules isn’t easy. It takes unlearning years of toxic messaging, trusting yourself again, and giving yourself permission to enjoy food without guilt. But holy God, is it worth it. Because you are worth it.
This sense of freedom around food? That’s a whole new lease on life - no more guilt, no more fear, just ease and enjoyment around food again.
It took me 17 years to figure this out, but you don’t have to. I share my story because I know what it feels like to be stuck, to believe food is the enemy, to feel like you’ve failed over and over again. But you haven’t failed. The system failed you. And I’m here to help you break free from it - for good.
Okay, that’s enough diet-bashing for now! Back to strength, fitness, movement, and all things gym-related next week - stay tuned!
About Karen
Hi, I’m Karen, owner of Freedom Fitness and someone who spent far too many years stuck in the dieting trap. I know firsthand how easy it is to believe the problem is you - but it’s not. Diets set you up to fail. Breaking free isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.
Now, I help people let go of restrictive diets for good and build a way of eating that actually works in real life. No guilt, no fear - just ease, enjoyment, and habits that stick..
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop a comment, share this post with someone who needs it, or get in touch - I'm always happy to chat!
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